Monday, February 04, 2008

Good Mom/Good Dad

News Flash: Women have to be damn near perfect to be considered a "good mom." Recently New York Magazine had a feature in which the writer relays the results of an informal poll asking what consitutes a good mother or a good father. Good read, check it out.

What makes a good mom? Well, let's start with what makes a good dad. That's easier. He is there. At the delivery room (pretty much no wiggle room there), at dinner time (when he can work allowing), at school recitals/shows and sports events (but again, we understand when it's not possible). He changes some diapers and will sport a Baby Bjorn. He's a good provider.

And that's about it, more or less. If you're being honest, your own definition probably is not all that far off. Maybe you add in a thing or two, like weekend trips to the park, or cooking an occasional meal, but let's face it, we put the bar rather low for the menfolk.

What makes a good mother? Well, according to we women (always hard on ourselves aren't we?), she should be Mary Poppins, but not leave; she possess infinite patience, remembers to serve a balanced breakfast, never yells, is always cheerful, volunteers (with all her imaginary free time that she doesn't even desire, no doubt!), she does art projects with her kids, and she enjoys playing games with them (I challenge you to enjoy Candyland more than twice in a row--or a week!). Oh, and she is never too tired to be intimate with her husband.

Sadly, I know no good mothers, according to that definition. We're all a rotten bunch. So we read Crabmommy and the like and revel in comraderie. And complain to each other about how hard it is to deal with whiny kids when at the park together. And generally scare the bejeesus outta first time moms. And yet still manage to have rather well adjusted happy kids. Go figure.

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