Telling The Brat to Shove It

Imagine walking out the front door in the morning to get your newspaper and you look down to see, hello, what’s this?  A $5 bill on your front walk?  Present from the world!  Yay, money!  You’d be pretty happy.

Imagine about 4 hours later again, you walk out the front door and, whoa!  Another $5 bill?  What are the odds?  Yay, more money!  Happiness times two.

Later, right before you make dinner you open the front door to water the plants.  NO EFFING WAY… a $5 bill!?!  Is the $5 bill fairy your new friend?  You’d be ecstatic.

******************************

Okay, let’s imagine reality – my reality with a family of voracious eaters.

I walk into the kitchen in the morning, and run the dishwasher because I like to run it in the morning while I make coffee, since it’s kind of loud for after dinner when we’re all unwinding and settling down.  I unload shortly after it stops, since I don’t really like piles of dishes taunting me, and the sink is already half full from breakfast stuff.  By the time I put all the new dirty dishes in, it’s probably about 8:45 a.m.

Early afternoon:  after making breakfast for 5 people, packing 1 or 2 lunches, making snacks, lunch, etc., etc., the dishwasher’s full and needs to be run.  And so, it is.

It’s about 6 p.m. when I am standing in the kitchen about to make dinner.  Poop.  The sink is half full of dishes again (3 kids worth of snacks, plus those later in the afternoon snacks, plus who even knows why all these spoons are in there, but they probably have something to do with a toddler I know who is all I can go into the kitchen when I want no because there is no gate anymore YAY-yay-YAY!).  I remember the dishwasher is full of clean dishes, just waiting for me to unload them.

Oh.  You again.

******************************

I remember back when we only had one child, visiting with friends who had 3 children ages 5 and under, and the mom saying, I load and unload this dishwasher two or three times a day.  I feel like some days all I am doing is loading and unloading this #$*&%~ dishwasher.  Boy, I can relate.

I suppose everyone has their chore they feel is never over.  Laundry or dishes are probably the main culprits in most families.  Since I cook nearly every meal and nearly always from close to scratch, give or take opening a can of tomatoes or beans here or there, I create a lot of dishes, so that dishwasher is my best frienemy.  I’d hate to not have it, but I never think, Whoa!!  Another load today?  Really?!?  Oh boy!

At the same time, having tried both routes, I find it’s best to not listen to the cranky inner brat who whines that she doesn’t wanna do it again—has she not done that enough times that particular day?!?  The Brat never gives me good advice.  While I’ve never been overjoyed to fit yet another load into the day, I’ve also never regretted having done those dishes when it was a manageable amount.  I never wish, instead of walking into a kitchen with an empty sink, that it were piled overfull with dirty stuff.  When I really need to give The Brat a reality check, I look at the clock before I start unloading and then again after the last item is put away—generally it takes 4-6 minutes.  The Brat is such a drama queen and always tries to tell me it will take, oh, FOREVER. 

That silly Brat… she never learns.  She’ll probably try again to convince me it’s too much work later today.  She’s persistent like that.