Outside Looking In

Mondays are a long day here.  My husband isn’t home until pretty late—after the kids are in bed, and last night I just let ‘em watch Santa Buddies on TV until it was Bun’s bedtime and both boys already had fallen away to dreamland.  They were so snuggly on the sofa, one on each end, and it was nice to have no children making all their noisenoisenoises, so I let ‘em be.  I had a lot of puttering to do, and also wanted to stay up to watch the eclipse, and enjoyed the peace of being as close to all alone as I get for a quiet hour before Paul returned home and a different noise and energy arrived with him.

I was worried that I would not be able to see any of the eclipse because we’ve had rain for many days now, but, through gaps in the eerie pinkish clouds I was able to see it happen.  Now, I would not set an alarm to see the eclipse—I like sleep a LOT—but staying up a little later than I normally do was well worth it.

It was so chilly outside, and I kept running back in to the warmth of my home, each time exclaiming to my nonplussed husband that I was soooo cold (he never seems to think sky stuff is as cool as I do, but then again, I could live a million happy lives never knowing the technical gobbledygook he likes, so touche).  He pointed out I was only wearing a sweater and had sandals on… he’s always insisted I don’t have a proper appreciation for high tech outerwear, and he’s right.  I prefer being warm and not looking like a Puffalump, too. 

I liked it outside, however.  It was very quiet.  After a day of mostly happy, yet always loud noises, my ears rang in the sudden silence as if the little bones in there forgot how to be still and not hear anything.  All the chairs are inside or stacked for winter, so I lay on the concrete until I began to shake with cold, watching the moon play peekaboo with the clouds and a really large shadow.  I wished it were warmer.  Last summer, during a meteor shower, it was warm enough to gaze up quietly for as long as I wanted, though it was not as quiet because it’s never fully quiet when windows are open and summer nights invite long evenings outside.

Finally I began to shudder, and knew I had to get up and go in, probably for good, since I was also yawning, and, even though it’s winter break, the kids will only sleep a little longer than usual.

Then I saw.  Everything good was in there anyway.