So, my sister in law dislikes me. I'm not sure exactly why. I've seen her in person exactly 3 times over 4 days, and I really don't recall anything all that interesting happening. Nevertheless, she's told my mother in law that she doesn't want to make efforts to see me or my husband because she doesn't know or like us (she used the words, "I didn't like what I saw.") I'm pretty sure I didn't poop on the Thanksgiving dinner table or call her kid ugly, but I was jet lagged so...
Now, without going into a lot of somewhat boring details, since family drama is often only interesting to those in it, there has been tension about birthday parties. Who invites whom to what... she thinks I didn't invite her brood to Bunny's this spring (I did!), she didn't invite us to her 2 yr old's party (claimed to simultaneously not think of it and also pointed out I didn't invite them when I sent the invite to her husband, Paul's brother), and now there are two more birthdays looming. Her eldest turns 4 in a couple of weeks and I would be pretty surprised if we're invited, given the whole vehement "I don't like them" thing. And there is Carter's birthday right before Halloween. I will invite them to that, since it's the right thing to do.
I have to admit: I don't even know if I want them to come! The detached part of me that is trying hard to be mature says it's good for the kids, it's better to be the bigger person, yada yada. The part of me with FEELINGS is scratching and clawing and saying, "I don't want to willingly ask someone who dislikes me into my home! It's my son's birthday and I want to enjoy it!" I suppose there are 3 options: they don't come at all, the boys come with their father only, all of them come. #2 is sounding attractive to me, frankly. I like BIL (brother in law). I'd enjoy him there, and I know that since Paul's mom and stepdad *and* Paul's dad will also be there that the odds of them not coming at all are slim.
If it turns out that they all come, and SIL is here, I'm going to be beyond tense! I'm already tense thinking aobut it. While I'd like to say she can jump off a cliff and I don't care what she thinks, I know I'll be trying to make everything perfect. Perfectly clean (impossible with my kids and husband), perfectly planned (impossible with my me-ness, which always lets something fall through even if I try not to)... I don't know. I guess either way I will have other friends there (mom friends) and I will probably enlist them to 'have my back'.
Ugh. If I'm going to be disliked, I wish I could have at least done something, haha! I mean, heck, if there were a way-back machine, maybe I'd throw a few handfuls of mashed potatoes in SIL's face or something.
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4 comments:
Well, I think it gets down to what's really "good" for the kids isn't necessarily. Truth be told, they barely know her. So her absence won't affect them greatly. BUT if you are tense and maybe a little more on edge b/c of that, then that's not good for them either. Hopefully scenario B will be the one to play out and you all can have a happy day with Carter. Wish I could be there! :)
Perfect eh? Perfectionism? Isn't that the "P" WORD???
I hope that things go smoothly and there isn't much stress involved for you :(
If it gets ugly, Jerry Springer would recommend you throw a shoe and rip off your shirt.
Elle:
Yeah, i wish you would be here, too. I also hope it's scenario B!
I emailed SIL, like I told you, and have not rec'd a reply. Not that I expect one, per se, but... ya know.
Throw a shoe... Hmmm, not a bad call. Maybe I could buy beer just to have the bottles as weapons should it go that route. ;)
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